2007.09.24
壊心
原田 克子
かあさんがなぜ出ていったのか
そんなことぼくは考えはしない
ただ
ぼくが学校から帰ったとき
かあさんが来ていたりすると
つい目をそらして便所へかけこんだりする
話したいことがいっぱいあるのを知られまいとして
毎月五百円の小遣が六千五百円もたまっているのを
何十分もかけて計算しておしえてあげる
ざぶとんをおりまげてまくらにして
かあさんに足なんかのっけたりして
寝ころんでみる
かあさんの足よりももう大きいんだね
かあさんは前にもいったことをまたいう
猫のミイはぼくがひろってきて育てている
紙の箱に入った三びきの子猫をみつけたんだけれど
習字に行かなければならなかったのでそのときはあきらめた
帰りにはいなくてがっかりしていたら鳴き声がきこえた
首のまがった黒猫が歩くこともできなくてうずくまっていた
タオルにつつんでかあさんが仕事から帰るのをまつ
かあさんはきっとかうのをゆるしてくれる
顔ぜんぶを牛乳の中につっこんで飲むこともできなかったけれど
よその猫とけんかして耳がちぎれるほど元気になった
でもとうとうきずが化膿して手術をした
獣医さんがいった
このこは生命力があるんだよ。ほんとうは強いこなんだ
ぼくはほんとうにうれしかった
それからすこししてかあさんはいなくなったけれど
ぼくは毎日ミイと寝る
ひさしぶりにミイとかあさんとテレビをみながら寝ころがる
ふしぎな海の生き物のはなしをしている
かあさん、ペニスってなに
ぼくはこれからひとりで風呂にはいる
かあさんはいつものようにいっしょにはいろうという
でも
ぼくはひとりではいることにしたんだ
詩集『シュールダンスをあなたと』より
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Written by Katsuko Harada
Translated by Townsman
September 27, 2007
Why mom left us
I don't care about it
When I come home from school and happen to see mom there,
I just look away and hurry into the bathroom or somewhere else
I want to talk to her about a lot of things
But I'm trying to hide my feelings
I only tell her
I've saved my allowance of 500 yen a month up to 6,500 yen now,
Showing her my calculation after having spent tens of minutes
Bending a floor cushion into a pillow,
I try lying down on the floor
With my legs on her body
Your legs are already bigger than mine,
She says again what she has said before
Mee, my cat that I have found and brought home
One evening I saw three kittens in a carton
I just gave them up then
Because I was on my way to calligraphy school
On my way back that evening I returned to that place
I was disappointed they had already gone away
Then I heard a kitten meowing somewhere
The black kitten with its neck bent, unable to walk, was curled into a ball
I wrapped it up in a towel and waited for mom coming home from work
I knew mom would let me keep it
The cat was so sick that it couldn't drink milk even if I pushed its whole face into milk
Gradually it recovered and got well to the extent of having a fight with other cats
In the fight it almost lost its ear
The ear injury got infected and led to an operation
Our vet said, "Mee has vitality and is essentially a strong cat"
I was really happy to hear that
Some time after that mom disappeared, though
And I sleep with Mee every day now
Mom just came home after a long absence
Mom, Mee and I are lying down on the floor together watching TV
The program is about mysterious sea creatures
"What's penis, mom?"
I'll take a bath by myself from now on
Mom says she wants to take a bath with me as usual
But ...
I've decided I'll take a bath by myself from now on
From "Surreal dance with you," a collection of Katsuko Harada's poems